That time of year is approaching yet again. This is always a hard week for me, as my Mom is on my mind constantly. Don’t get me wrong, she is always there but there are certain times where she is at the forefront of my thoughts. This is one of those times. I have not lived at home since I was 19, I have not lived near family (where I grew up) since I was 24. But I always thought of a way to make Mother’s Day special for my Mom, even though she complained about the money we spent. The last one was able to send her anything was right before she passed away. Anyone who knew my Mom knows she collected porcelain dolls. In 2008 she had a Raggedy Anne that needed the Andy to complete the set. I found it on ebay & sent it to her & she was thrilled with it. Those dolls now reside in my room, along with about 12 others that she owned. It’s a bit creepy to have a bunch of dolls looking at you from beside your bed, but they make me think of her.

You grow up thinking your parents/Mom will live until they are 80-90 years old. You waste a lot of time when you could be calling them. You put others before them. Then you wake up one day & realize they are gone. Sometimes it’s like that for me-fresh. As painful as it was at the start. Other times it barely crosses my mind. My life is pretty busy with 7 kids & a farm, but thoughts of her are always in the back of mind. So don’t waste time, cherish your Mom while you have her here because one day she won’t be there. Make the time you have with her count.

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there.

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Truer words were never spoken. When you are a teenager, you think that when you are an adult you will have outgrown drama & all the typical behavior that goes with it. Untrue! When you are an adult, it is just harder to detect. People get sneakier, people get petty. You will figure out who are fair weather friends & who will really stick by you. Then there are the ones who have stuck by you since those drama packed teenage years. I have 3 such friends. I have known them for 20 years or more & sometimes years go by where we don’t speak, we haven’t seen each other for at least 10 years or more but we always pick up where we left off. I love these people! (Jason, Kishia & Bev) <3

The best thing you can do is find those people who make you happy & stick by them. Don’t let the little things come between you or the big things either, because in the end these are the ones who are going to be there for you no matter what. These friends are the ones who are part of your family.

So, I just want to give a shout out to those 3 friends. I know we have lost touch off & on over the years but you are never far from my thoughts & each one of you has a little piece of my heart.

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Most of you know that my husband works from home. Some of you may know that I do too & I am not talking about child-rearing, cooking & cleaning. I like to help out with bills & have a bit of money that I can buy things that I want. I try to keep my client base low (2-6 at a time) so I will still have time for all the other stuff I need to do. Yes, the child-rearing etc. I do link building on the side. Right now I have 2 steady clients and I have 4 other slots open. For more information, check out:

Linkbuilding

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I left ESVA on a cold night in March of 2000. It was just supposed to be a weekend trip down to Miami Beach, just a weekend getaway. I was born on & lived most of my life on the ESVA. I arrived in Miami around 1am on a Saturday. I stayed for 2 weeks then went back to ESVA to get my 2 kids. I never looked back. Like most people who are born & raised there, growing up all you can think about is leaving. Waking up in South Beach & walking around, I fell in love. I was almost 24, had never been to a place even remotely like SoBe & I never wanted to leave. My kids were with my MIL & I had freedom. I lost weight, got a tan, met a man, moved in & brought my kids down. It’s been 11 years. I have 7 kids now & we are in Kentucky now. My Mom always wanted us (being me & my siblings) to leave ESVA. It doesn’t have a lot to offer in the job market & she wanted better for us I think.

Leaving wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be & going back isn’t as easy as I would like it to be. My Mom passed away 3 years ago, my Nana is gone & my Uncle Rob as well. I have not been back since right before my Mom died & I am not sure how it will feel to go back. Right now it’s like she is a phone call away. I think going back will make it more real for me, realer than it already is. But I have more family there & I will go back to visit.

“Mama I’m OK out here I’ve seen how hard the world can be My step is sure and I know my name I’m strong just like you prayed I’d be” ~Miranda Lambert~

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The best laid pans always fall through. That is usually how it goes when I plan a visit back to the Shore. I know I do not get there as often as I would like or as often as I should. It is hard to make travel plans for yourself, your spouse and 7 children. First, you have to figure out whether to go by car or plane. Plane is expensive for this many people & driving we would need a bus! Then, with a family this large there are no hotels that can accommodate it without cleaning out your bank account. So, we have to find an available vacation rental & shell out money for that. Then, we have to pay for food, etc. Meanwhile, we have to pay someone here to take care of our farm while we are away. We depend on most of our animals to provide food for us. So while it may seem that there is always an excuse for us not being able to come out, whether is be money, travel, etc, we have a lot of responsibility here. Hop in your car & come see me!

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Goodnight to you
Where ever you are
Close to my heart
But ever so far
Looking down on me
This I pray
As I struggle with
Your loss every day
I see your smile in my
Reflection looking back
I remember your tone it’s
Your voice that I lack
That late afternoon call
Now my phone doesn’t ring
Those conversations with you
Were my everything
I get up each day
And life goes on by but
I’ll hold you in my heart
Till the day that I die.

Love always,
Me

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In December of 2007 my mother found a lump in her breast. She did not seek medical attention and, for reasons known only to her, she didn’t tell anyone. In May of 2008, she started feeling poorly. She was overly tired, in pain & had severe swelling in her abdomen. By the middle of June she had been to the ER to have her abdomen drained several times. Each time at least 4 liters & as much as 12 liters or more of fluid was removed. Towards the middle of July she was put in the ICU of the local hospital where I grew up. I spoke to her several times by phone & on July 30, 2008 I received a call from my cousin, Melanie, telling me how severely sick my mother was & how imperative it was for me to come see her.

By July of 2008, I had not seen my Mom for 3 years. I had 6 children at this time & was 9 months in with my 7th pregnancy. The last time I saw my mom/family was when my now 7 year old was a year old. My mom/family had never even met my then 1 year old. On July 31, 2008 my baby sister & my little brother drove from Virginia to Kentucky to pick me & my 1 year old up so I could go see my mother. I had no idea I was going to say goodbye. I went to visit her on August 2, 2008 twice. She was in ICU so I could not bring in the grandson she had never met, the one she had only seen in pictures. The last time I saw her, I told her that I loved her. I sent in my 2 oldest children to see her & told her I would come again in a couple of weeks, as soon as I had the baby. That night I went in labor & we headed back to Kentucky early the next morning. We ended up stopping in Charleston, WV so I could give birth to my son Luke. He came into this world on August 3, 2008 at 5:38PM. My mother left this world at a little after 3AM on August 4, 2008. She has missed out on so much & she is sorely missed by a lot of people. RIP, Mom.

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Today is my baby boy’s 3rd birthday. Time has gone by so fast! Like my other 6, Luke has a personality all his own. He is rotten & that’s my fault. He does silly things, like asking me to put a diaper on his head, then he walks around saying “I’m a poopyhead” heh 3 year olds! He is the cutest, most adorable, silliest little guy ever in my book. Happy birthday, baby. I love you!

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Surprisingly, even with 7 kids, I find myself with extra time on my hands. It has been too hot here lately to go out to my garden until early evening, so I do other things during the day. School just started here, so 4 of our 7 are gone from about 6:30am until 3:30pm. I homeschool Ian, our 7 yr old for a few hours each day. I also do other mundane things like laundry (blech).

I mentioned in my first post my love of all things vampire, including True Blood & Eric Northman. I am part of an Eric Northman group on facebook called Skarsgarding, so that takes up some of my day hehe I try to read as much as possible, too. I usually read anywhere between 3-8 books a week depending on how interested I am in them.

I have a few clients of my own & I do link building for their websites, as well as our own. It’s tedious & sometimes boring, but it supports my book/video game/gadget habit. It also helps pay some of our bills. I do not usually take more than 4-5 clients at a time or I get swamped & won’t have the time to do other things I want to do. Like read or play video games haha

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